What is it in human nature that drives some people to forego morals?  To care so little for others around them?  What drives people to harass and abuse another for no reason save that they can?  Perhaps it is the feeling of power that comes with tearing someone down.  But what in the vast history of human memory has created such a desire for power that we are willing to forsake all that is right simply to achieve it for a fleeting moment?  Do we all have this insatiable desire for control lodged somewhere inside of us just waiting to break free?  How then is it that there is any good left in mankind?  What causes some people to bury this instinct and seek to better the world?  Is it the circumstances of their young lives?  Or is it something deep within their blood?  Are some people simply born to be good, and some born to oppose them?  Perhaps we would be unable to appreciate the moments of joy and peace in our lives without their opposite.  A terrifying thought.  If there is no hope of ever tipping the scales… but then, perhaps that conflict is the true driving force.  For it is exceedingly rare to find one who is at peace in every aspect of their life.  Few people ever even try to reach such a state, and fewer still succeed.  The vast majority of people are constantly in a state of conflict with something.  Be it another person, a situation, an ideal, even an aspect of themselves.  It is almost as if we are physically unable to be content and feel completely at ease.  Perhaps it is some long remembered instinct from the days when growing complacent meant a swift end.  When settling in peace meant you became prey.  Is that still the case?  When we allow ourselves to let go, do we instantly become a target for those around us who want to feel some semblance of power?  Do we leave ourselves vulnerable and thus perpetuate the cycle?  What path, then, is left for us to take?  How can one strive to live in a manner they will not regret when the world is filled with people who do not care enough for their fellow man to feel regret?  How does one escape the oppressive mass that is the darker side of human nature?

Current Mood: discontent

Well I officially leave for Belize in less than ten hours... it's a little bit daunting. I'm packed, I've gone over my to-do list and check list half a dozen times because I'm a just a tad paranoid about forgetting something vital but I'm pretty sure everything is done. Traveling tomorrow shouldn't be too bad, I've only got an hour long layover in Dallas which will pretty much just give me enough to change planes, then onto Belize. I'm pretty sure the most stressful part of the day is going to be getting to the airport and getting checked in, I have yet to figure out why that particular even stresses me out more than anything else when I travel but ah well, we all have our neuroses. Hopefully there will be more to come here in the near future, some experiences deserve to be well documented.

Current Mood: excited

The Nature of an Ancient Maya City by Thomas H. Guderjan
Pgs. 165
Rating: B
I read this book because it is about the specific site that I will be working on this summer.  It had a good basic overview of the site and some of their research guidelines.  This book is most definitely geared toward an academic audience and only touches on several aspects of the site.  Seeing as the project has been going on for near twenty years, and the site itself is quite large, this isn’t surprising.  Overall I’m glad I read it, but I think I’ll read it again after I’ve been to the site because I’ll be able to place the information with the location in my mind and it’ll all make a lot more sense.

Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs
Pgs. 309
Rating: A-
So I’ll start with the fact that I love the Mercy books by Patricia Briggs.  I love Mercy’s character and how much it has changed throughout the books, and those changes really seem to have culminated in this book.  I also love the wolves, Adam and Samuel especially.  I’m less thrilled with the way she portrays vampires but that story line did need to be wrapped up.  I didn’t like this book as much as the third one which I literally re-read the moment I finished it the first time, but it was still a really enjoyable book.  It was a lot funnier than the others in the series, and I’m curious as to where she is going to take the books in the future as there are at least three more to come in the series.


Rouge Angel: The Chosen by Alex Archer
Pgs. 347
Rating: C
This was the most disappointing of the Rouge Angel books so far.  I had a really hard time getting through it and found myself skipping pages at a time.  I mean really, five pages for a fight scene with no dialogue seems excessive.  And when that happens several times throughout the book just with a different group of people shooting at the main character and her running and fighting, well it gets old really quickly.  I wasn’t nearly as interested in the plot of this book either.  If it had been the first book in the series I wouldn’t have bothered to read any others.  As it stands now I’m going to keep up with the series eventually, as they are basically mind candy for when I’m in school and don’t want to concentrate too hard when I have free time.

Beloved by Toni Morrison
Pgs. 275
Rating: A-
I decided to read this book because I had been hearing about it from people since high school.  I’d heard that it was good, disturbing, and stuck with you.  I’d have to agree with all of that.  The book was very well written and very enjoyable, even though it was quite disturbing.  It was interesting to me that the actions of the main character weren’t repulsive, Toni Morrison did a wonderful job of making the reader sympathetic to the plight of the main character.  I’d recommend this book to anyone, it’s a relatively quick read, and you get caught in the storyline really quickly.


Rouge Angel: The Spider Stone by Alex Archer
Pgs. 346
Rating: B
This was my favorite of the Rouge Angel books so far.  The books always seem to have some sort of historic story going on concurrently with the modern events, and this is the first time I actually liked the side story.  Plus the main character got to go to some really interesting places this time around, and the people chasing after her actually made sense for once rather than just random groups of people popping out of the woodwork to fight her.  This is one I may keep rather than sell back.

Hunters of the Whale by Kirk Daugherty
Pgs. 156
Rating: A-

I originally got this book from the school library for a research paper I was going to write, but I ended up changing topics and not using it at all.  However, one night I was flipping through it and got rather interested in it and the next thing I knew I had read the whole thing and it was several hours later.  For an academic book about archaeology it was very well written, if a little dated.  It focused on a site in Northwester Washington on the coast with a long history of occupation.  The excavation they ended up doing was the first wet excavation at so large a scale, and seeing as I am an aspiring archaeologist I found it really fascinating, though the thought of working in those conditions isn’t pleasant.  Basically, if you like archaeology, I’d recommend it, it’s pretty short and doesn’t get too bogged down in the nitty gritty that a lot of field reports do.


Rouge Angel: Solomon’s Jar by Alex Archer
Pgs. 346
Rating: B
This is the second of the Rouge Angel series and it was a nice continuation of the first.  I enjoy these books quite a lot, though they do have a rather repetitive nature.  I tend to skip the fighting scenes for the majority of the books since they are always the same, several people attacking the main character and she reacting in a way no real human would be able to.  This particular book had a nice addition of a side character who was also seeking Solomons Jar, and his interacting with the main character was really amusing.  Overall better than the first book, and I’d probably read it again.

I couldn't believe it, I woke up this morning all inspired to write!  That hasn't happened in quite a long time.  I still don't quite believe it, but this idea that has been rolling around in the back of my head for what feels like ages was finally started demanding that I write it, and I have all this motivation... it's amazing.  I've missed this feeling, a lot a lot a lot.  Of course, because of school I have no time to actually devote to writing, so it will be interesting.  I have a feeling my sleep is going to be suffering.

Current Mood: chipper

Rouge Angel: Destiny by Alex Archer
Pgs. 346
Rating: B
This book was good, not great.  I liked it, but didn’t love it.  Some of the characters really caught my attention and I’d love to see where they go in the rest of the series, but some of the characters were pretty flat and lifeless.  Some parts of the plot points were really interesting and well thought out, some of them felt random and just kind of fizzled out before really being resolved.  Basically, it was a decent book that was entertaining and kept my attention long enough to read it in nearly one go, and I can’t wait to read the next one in the series.  The characters have real potential, and I love that there are so many plot possibilities since the main character is an archaeologist who gets to explore all the different historical myths.  We’ll have to see how the next couple of books go.

13.   No picture for this one, it's older and I couldn't find one.  It's just a plain blue hardcover book though.
The Quest For Atlantis by John S. Bowman
Pgs. 176
Rating: C+
Let me just say, I am really glad that I got this book for free from the anthropology department at my school.  I would have been pretty disappointed if I had spent money on it.  It provides a pretty comprehensive basic history of the appearance of Atlantis in literature since Plato, and the search that it inspired.  However, it only touches and an incredibly wide variety of topics pertaining to Atlantis, it doesn’t go very deep into any of them.  Also, a big problem I had with it was the fact that one moment the author would be defending the concept of Atlantis and the next he would be mocking the people who have dedicated their work to finding it.  Also, it presents everything as if it is a very academic work, but there is no references cited at the end, so I can’t help but wonder about a lot of the claims the author makes.  But, overall, it was decently written, and a halfway enjoyable read.

10. The Mystery of 2012: Predictions, Prophecies, & Possibilities
Pgs. 398
Rating: B-
The only reason I picked this book up was because of my obsession with 2012 and what may or may not happen then.  The book is actually just a collection of essays written by various people that are supposed to center around 2012.  In actuality, about half the time the connection to 2012 is a stretch at best, to the point of it feels like the essay was written on something completely different and then the idea of 2012 was thrown in just to get the paper in the book.  Some of the essays, though, were very well written, entertaining, and pertinent to the topic of the book.  Overall, it felt far too disjointed for me, while there are some overreaching themes that the essays are organized into, again, I felt like the labels were a stretch in many of the cases.  It’s one I’ll be selling to the used bookstore on my next trip; I won’t be reading it again.

11.  The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Pgs. 398
Rating: B+

I have to start this out with saying that The Princess Bride movie is in my top five favorite movies of all time, and has been since the first time I saw it when I was maybe 5 years old.  Over the years I’ve seen the book at the store quite a few times, but never got around to reading it until I saw it in the used bookstore recently.  The format of the book bothered me a little bit, the whole back-story of the author abridging the novel from the original because that was how it was read to him as a child… it made me feel like I was missing out on a lot.  I don’t know if that was part of how the novel was being written, or if the book actually is abridged by William Goldman, but either way there was no reason to draw the reader’s attention to that fact over and over again.  For the story of the princess bride itself, I absolutely loved it.  Buttercup is an absolutely dreadful person, flat and vain and helpless, and I love it!  Westly is insane to put up with her, but he shines as a character when set next to Buttercup.  The dynamic between Inigo, Fezzik, and the Sicilian is priceless, the depths of which the movie never really got into.  Overall, I loved the story and the characters, but the way it was written I could do without.

8.       Night by Elie Wiesel
Pgs. 120
Rating: A+
This book absolutely blew me away.  I picked it up because so many people have told me that they loved it over the years, and I finally decided I’d better read it for myself.  All I have to say is that I can’t believe I waited as long as I did.  The book is beautifully written, and truly heart wrenching.  I don’t have much experience reading books from the Holocaust era, but after this one I may look into reading a few more.  It’s a short book, and a quick read, which turned out to be a very good thing as I couldn’t bring myself to put it down until I was finished.  I would recommend this book to absolutely everybody, not only is it a beautiful work of writing, it is a window into an event that many people still shy away from.

9.       By Oak, Ash, & Thorn by D.J. Conway
Pgs. 246
Rating: C+
This book was loaned to me by a friend, and it was alright.  There were parts of it I really liked, but I found myself skimming over full chapters towards the end.  The premise of the book is to try and prove that the ancient Celtic culture had a history of shamanism which was a key element to the development of their rituals.  I don’t know how much I believe that, the evidence they site is sketchy at best.  There are quite a few guided meditations that could be helpful, but they would have to be recorded first and then played while meditating, not something I ever bring myself to do.  Overall the book was well written and kept my interest for the most part, and it provided a good overall basis to shamanism.  If you’re looking for specifics or well researched work however, I’d steer clear of it.

Ok, so I know that this semester I am taking fewer credits than I took last semester.  I am no longer commuting an hour each way every day.  The panic attacks are gone.  I'm not scrambling to find a place to live.

I should have more free time, right?

Well I don't know how it even happens, but I feel ten times busier than I did last semester.  It just doesn't make any sense.

Ok, lets take a look, I moved up here, and classes started.  For all of a week I had more credits than I did last semester, but I promptly dropped one of my really hard classes that I don't even really need.

I turned 21, and have since wasted more money than I ought to have at the bars, but still, it's not a very common occurance.

I found out my paper from field school last summer was going to be published and had to do some revising, but that didn't take nearly as much work as it did to write it in the first place.

I applied to go out in the field to record rock art in April and got in, but that was more of just an exciting thing, not a time consuming thing for now.

Decided to do a poster at the CCPA conferece with Katy, and sure that's taken some work, probably more work than the poster for Great Plains conference last semester but not thaaaaat much more.

Um... oh yeah, got my CV together, got my letters of reccomendation in order, and applied to jobs and field schools this summer, and am going to be going to Belize and Guatemala for nearly 6 weeks this May-July, but I haven't been doing a ton of planning for all that yet.

So where is all my free time?  I feel like I'm always busy, and it doesn't make sense!!

Huh, go figure.  I'll be updating my books read list and my mission 101 list soon, there's been quite a lot of progress on that front.



Seriously, I'm at a loss, where is all my time going?  How is it already the middle of March?

Current Mood: contemplative

 Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
Pgs. 416
Rating: A+
Alright, I’ll admit it, I had never heard of Watchmen before I saw the movie trailer, and even then I wasn’t going to read the book because I’d never read a graphic novel before and didn’t think I’d like it much. Then a friend of mine found out and pretty much forced the book into my hands and I couldn’t be gladder. It took a little while for me to get into the format of the graphic novel but it didn’t take long before I couldn’t put the book down. The story follows a group of masked vigilantes in the mid eighties while the threat of nuclear war looms ever closer. Throughout the novel the history of the rise of masked heroes and the past of each of the ‘Crimebusters’ are revealed. As one by one they are attacked a plot that will change the history of the world is revealed, and they have to once more bind together to save it. I don’t want to say anything more, I don’t want to give it away, but I’d recommend it to absolutely everybody, it completely blew me away.

1.       Stuff White People Like: The Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions by Christian Lander
Pgs. 211
Rating: A
This book was absolutely hilarious, it had me laughing out loud multiple times. Christian Lander is a wonderful writer who is witty and clever. Being an anthropology student I found the book even more amusing, as it read to me like a mockery of cultural anthropologists. Just because something is observed doesn’t necessarily mean anything. The book was highly amusing, entertaining, enjoyable, and a quick read. I’d recommend it to anybody looking for a way to pass an afternoon.

1.       Life Of Pi by Yann Martel
Pgs. 319
Rating: A
This book follows the journey of Pi Patel first as he is living in Pondicherry, India and experimenting with various religions and faiths, and later after he is shipwrecked and ends up in a lifeboat with an orangutan, a hyena, a zebra, and a Bengal tiger. Within a matter of days it is only him and the tiger, and it becomes a constant struggle for survival. Not only are the elements against him, food and water are scarce and he has to keep the tiger from eating him. For over two hundred days he is afloat with only Richard Parker, the tiger, for companionship, and his never-ending faith. Eventually he washes up on a beach in Mexico and is found. Toward the end of the novel he is being questioned by two men from the company of the ship which sank about his story, which they deem as ‘unbelievable.’ At this point he tells an alternate story about being on the lifeboat with three other people, all of whom are killed and eaten within the nearly three hundred days. The reader then has to ask themselves, which is more believable. Or more importantly, which one can we accept in terms of human nature? The book is wonderful, and the only thing I would change is that the last thirty or so pages are packed full of philosophical points, and while all good, I feel like they could have been integrated into the rest of the novel a bit more. I’d recommend this book to anybody, as I think there is something for everybody to enjoy in it.

1.       Coyote Blue by Christopher Moore
Pgs. 303
Rating: B+
This is the second book I’ve read by Christopher Moore and I enjoyed it quite a bit. The basic story line is that Samuel Hunter, originally Samson Hunts Alone, ran away from his home and culture when he was fifteen in the wake of a tragic event, though we do not find out what it is until the middle of the book. As the book opens he is working as a salesman, living in a cookie-cutter apartment and utterly bored with life. Then, the magical trickster God Coyote enters his life and turns it upside down, and all he wants is for everything to go back to the way it was. That is, until it does, when he realizes that maybe he does want more out of life than just to fly under the radar as a salesman. Along the way Sam falls in love with Calliope, a hippie chick who he never would have dreamed of having a chance with if it weren’t for Coyote popping her tires, forcing Sam to give her a ride. Eventually he ends up on a wild goose chase to Las Vegas after Calliope, who is going after her son Grub, who was taken by his father a semi-homicidal biker. The book is populated with incredibly colorful characters, dark secrets, and highly comedic Gods. The plot left a bit to be desired, but the personalities of the people made up for it. If you want a good laugh I’d recommend you check this book out.

Alright, time for a real update on my list of 101 things.  Here's what's been happening.

13. Cook or bake 101 times (1/101)  I made some amazing teriyaki steak for my roommate and myself.  It was super delicious, and easy, and cheap.  My three favorite things!

14. Read 101 new books (3/101)

         Fluke, Or I Know Why The Winged Whale Sings by Christopher Moore
Pgs. 311               
Rating: A
This is the first book I have read by Christopher Moore, and I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It is about Nate Quinn, a biologist who is studying humpback whales trying to figure out the meaning of their song. Odd things start to happen, though, like finding a whale with ‘Bite Me’ painted on its tale and somebody breaking in and trashing his lab. While trying to figure out who would want to sabotage his research he starts to question how much anybody could even care about the work he has done for the last 25 years, and realizes that even if he finds the meaning in the song, nobody would ever believe him. Throw in a few near death experiences, a cast of the most eccentric and eclectic characters I’ve ever experienced, and Killer whales named Kevin, and you’ve got a spectacular book that was far more enjoyable that I had expected.

         Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Pgs. 208
Rating: A
Believe it or not, I made it to nearly 21 years old without reading this book. I was thinking about it the other day and decided I simply had to read it before my birthday, and I’m glad I did. The world created by Lewis Carroll was much more wonderful than I expected. The characters that the little girl Alice meets when she falls down a rabbit hole are all interesting and highly varied from each other. Also, the at the end when the older sister is thinking about her younger sister was really beautifully written, and really hit home for me because my own little sister is just growing out of the age where she believes in the impossible. The illustrations in this edition are beautiful, Helen Oxenbury compliments the writing perfectly. I only wish I had read this book as a child, it probably would have been one of my favorites if I had. Don’t let the Disney movie keep you from reading this book, it’s much better than the movie was in my opinion.

17. Try a new recipe every month (1/33)  This was the highly successful teriyaki steak

19.  Watch 101 new movies (12/101)  Part of this was my goal to watch all the movies I owned but hadn't seen before I moved as well.  Anyways, I saw The Reader in theaters and it was absolutly amazing.  Nazis, illiteracy, and an affair with a 15 year old pretty much sums it up.  Also in theaters was Australia which I loved even though it was long.  If you liked Moulin Rouge you'll probably like this movie too.  Slumdog Millionaire was by far my favorite movie I've seen this year, it is absolutely amazing, everyone one should go see it as soon as they get the chance.  I also saw Charlie Wilson's War which was ok but not amazing, Lars and the Real Girl which was a lot better than I expected it to be, Bangkok Dangerous which I suggest you all skip, it was bad.  There was one good scene in the whole movie and it only lasted about a minute.  Don Juan DeMarco was fabulous but mostly only because of Johnny Depp.  Running With Scissors was also decent, but not amazing.  I think the book will probably be better.  Hamlet 2 was amazingly hilarious, I wasn't at all excited about it but decided to see it because I love Focus Features and I was quite surprised with how much I enjoyed it.  The Constant Gardner, another Focus Features flick was also really good, but really depressing.  And last by not least this far, The Pineapple Express, another one that surprised me with how good it was.

20.  Be able to identify 10 constellations (3/10)  Ursa Major is the big dipper, Ursa Minor is the little dipper, and Orion.  Those three I've known for years, but I did double check them just to make sure.

21. Document this journey on LJ.  See?  Doing it right now.

24. Reach 7000 songs in iTunes and rate them all.  I'm at 5964 songs and not even a quarter of them are rated, even though whenever I listen to music I sit here rating it...

36. Study or read about Paganism 101 times (5/101)  This was made a whole lot easier with the books a friend loaned me over winter break.

37.  Write in a paper journal 101 times (4/101)  I do whenever I feel like it.

43.  Learn to meditate.  Just this morning actually I meditated for a bit with... unexpected results.  I'm not sure what to think about it right now actually.  I'm still processing it.

44.  Go on a solitary morning hike.  COMPLETED!!!!  This morning I went on a hike all alone and watched the sun rise.  Got a few wonderful pictures as well, as you can see further down.

54.  Make a dream catcher.  I found some branches today that I'm going to use instead of a metal ring.  Now to get everything else...

61.  Watch the sunrise.  Also COMPLETED!!!  This morning as well.

63.  Complete 'year of virtues' (1/26)  Intuition done and done.

69.  Sell, donate, or toss 101 unnecessary things I own (31/101)  I used moving as an excuse to try to purge my book collection somewhat...

73.  Take 101 good photos (23/100)  Got a bunch of amazing ones on my hike and sunrise watching, here are a few of my favorites.
  The sky just before the sun started rising.
A view from the hike.
The rising sun on the mostly frozen river.

77.  Donate 101,000 grains of rice on freerice.com (10,000/101,000)  I had never heard of this site before the 101, but I love it!

79. Knit a blanket.  I've got two squares done.  Granted it's going to take a minimum of 50 squares, probably more... but still!



94.  Spend time with an old friend every month.  Done and done.

101.  Make a separate 101 in 1001 days by March 26, 2010.  Extra points to anybody who figures out what this list is going to be for :)
 

Current Mood: jubilant

My head won't stop spinning.  These thoughts just keep circling over and over again, I can't shut them off.  I've tried.  God knows I've tried.

I hate that I've been reduced to this.  To somebody who overanlyzes ever little word.

Every action.

Every look.

It's nearly 5 in the morning, and I can't shut these damn thoughts out.

I should have more control than this.

I sat under the scalding hot water in the shower earlier literally trying to wash my mind clean of this obsession.  I'm losing my mind.

I'm losing it.

I'm losing me.  The person I want to be is slipping though my fingers like dry sand.

I think I'll go watch the sunrise in an hour or two.  Maybe that will help put things in perspective.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, perspective is all I need.

Current Mood: distressed

Title: Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland
Author: Lewis Carroll
Pgs. 208
Rating: A
Believe it or not, I made it to nearly 21 years old without reading this book. I was thinking about it the other day and decided I simply had to read it before my birthday, and I’m glad I did. The world created by Lewis Carroll was much more wonderful than I expected. The characters that the little girl Alice meets when she falls down a rabbit hole are all interesting and highly varied from each other. Also, the at the end when the older sister is thinking about her younger sister was really beautifully written, and really hit home for me because my own little sister is just growing out of the age where she believes in the impossible. The illustrations in this edition are beautiful, Helen Oxenbury compliments the writing perfectly. I only wish I had read this book as a child, it probably would have been one of my favorites if I had. Don’t let the Disney movie keep you from reading this book, it’s much better than the movie was in my opinion.

Current Mood: excited

Title: Burning Bright
Author: Tracy Chevalier
Pages: 386
Rating: B

This is the fifth book I’ve read by Tracy Chevalier, and I was a little bit disappointed with it. It follows the Kellaway family when they move from the country to London in the late 1700’s after a tragedy. The story focuses on Jem Kellaway and Maggie Butterfield, a girl he meets in London who is about his age. They form a tight bond as he adjusts to life in the city and Maggie tries to hide and work though a dark secret in her past. Their neighbor, Mr. Blake, is a writer who supports the French revolution and introduces philosophical ideals to the children who grapple to understand them. Their friendship with him, however, leads to problems down the line. I absolutely loved Girl With a Pearl Earring, Falling Angels, and The Virgin Blue but this book didn’t live up to her others. It was enjoyable, it kept my interest, but I’m taking it to the used book store tomorrow, I’ve no desire to keep it or read it again. If you like her style of writing and her other books you’ll likely enjoy it though.

Current Mood: content

Fluke, Or I Know Why The Winged Whale Sings by Christopher Moore
Pgs. 311               
Rating: A
This is the first book I have read by Christopher Moore, and I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It is about Nate Quinn, a biologist who is studying humpback whales trying to figure out the meaning of their song. Odd things start to happen, though, like finding a whale with ‘Bite Me’ painted on its tale and somebody breaking in and trashing his lab. While trying to figure out who would want to sabotage his research he starts to question how much anybody could even care about the work he has done for the last 25 years, and realizes that even if he finds the meaning in the song, nobody would ever believe him.  (This bit I really appreciated since I'm going into archaeology and am just starting to see how difficult it is to prove that anything is culturally significant when you're working with scientific data.) Throw in a few near death experiences, a cast of the most eccentric and eclectic characters I’ve ever experienced, and Killer whales named Kevin, and you’ve got a spectacular book that was far more enjoyable that I had expected.

Current Mood: thoughtful